The great one spoke with CNN’s Piers Morgan last night and the juicy quotes are flying everywhere. But it takes so long to read that stuff, and it is a tad ho-hum, no? Perhaps this random text synopsis (thank you Mr. Burroughs) – which was never uttered by a soul on this planet, we hope – will shed some light on the exciting television star’s currently “totally bitching rock star from mars life.”
It’s been a tsunami of media that doesn’t matter. That was an old brain. I have a new brain and the boogers of a seven-year-old. They’re to be hugged and caressed with a small fork, like a cocktail fork. I wish people would shift a pee-pee or a butt—you know, pooh-pooh balderdash, for lack of a better word. I’m being juvenile and gross. I think it eclipses some of these retarded zombies, these trolls that spin on a pink cloud, super bitching and focused. Got to dismiss these clowns. You guys do that, you deserve everything that happens later. I don’t think I would trade any of it to have a prognosis on Howard Stern. He should be ashamed of himself, which is pretty cool. I’d be a liar if I sat here and said drink tons of vodka, but don’t go near cocaine, the stuff I’m doing out there on my most epic nights. It’s a formation that controls a hernia thing that was popping out. It might have caught a piece of the bowel that stumbled into an area in my brain that didn’t need sleep. Just thought you might like to hear a friendly voice.